Peril Takes Over...
by Eli-kun
Summary: It's fun torturing the Sea Hag.


Peril Takes Over.  
  
"I take over an ellipsis?" Peril asked, outraged. The fanfic writer snickered at the question before answering, "Those three dots have absolutely nothing to do with the stork signals."  
  
"Then why did you put them?"  
  
"I felt like it. I didn't want to reveal too much in the title."  
  
"Pathetic Mundane"  
  
"What was that, Pearl-chan?"  
  
"Don't call me Pearl, and don't add chan. I'm centuries older than you."  
  
"Uh huh Pearl-chan, so shall I get on with my disclaimer?"  
  
"Insolent wretch, I have so much more power than you!"  
  
"Sure you do, Pearl-chan."  
  
"The name is Peril! I'm losing patience with you! I should just take you over and force you to die a horrible death."  
  
"Come over and try it. I'm in Mundania."  
  
"Bleep, you're worse than that horrid twerp of a golem!"  
  
"Hn, I am nothing compared to Grundy. I am merely a simple fanfic writer from Mundania who is borrowing you and anything else having to do with Xanth. Standard disclaimers apply. Please, don't sue."  
  
"Is Sue a girl I can take over?"  
  
"Don't be silly Pearl-chan."  
  
"Will you stop calling me that?"  
  
"Would you prefer Peri-chan?"  
  
"Bleep in bleep!"  
  
"You're so impolite, woman."  
  
"Stop teasing me, you mere mortal."  
  
"But it's so much fun."  
  
"Stop or I'll."  
  
"You'll what? You have no power in Mundania."  
  
"Curses, foiled again!"  
  
"I knew you'd have to say that eventually."  
  
"Will you get on with this stupid fic and leave me alone, you Mundane pest?"  
  
"Fine, but I can't leave you alone. This fic is about you, Pearl- chan."  
  
"I will destroy you."  
  
"Hah! You can't touch me."  
  
"If you ever come to Xanth, you will be in my power. Your arrogant boast gave me the invitation I needed."  
  
"Crud" The fic soon started.  
  
............  
  
*Damn that golem!* Peril thought, *Because of him I'm stuck behind this stupid monster and I was deprived of that body. Rapunzel was supposed to be mine! Damn them both!*. Apparently, thoughts weren't censored and the Adult Conspiracy had little effect in the dimension behind the monster plugging the hole. She eventually realized that making a dam of Grundy and Rapunzel would be of little use. Peril never considered taking over a female centaur with foals, even if she did have the ability to hold back water.  
  
*Actually, it's the Dastard's thought that I'm stuck here. The rag-brained golem got me stuck in the Brain Coral's pool. I'll get revenge on the tiny annoyance first, but before that I have to escape* she thought. She had no idea how long she was stuck there but she decided it was two long. It seemed twice the length of a long time.  
  
"If you let me take over, we could have our previous arrangement." She said to the monster who recently acquired a soul. It was that very soul that kept her trapped. She suddenly had an idea to get rid of the barrier. A bulb would have flashed over her head if she had one. If only she was able to get ahead of the monster and get back into Xanth.  
  
The monster was rather stupid, so it easily agreed to her proposal. She took control over it, winning the soul that possessed it. She actually used that soul to replenish herself. She soon had to figure out how to kill it. She still wasn't sure of its exact species. She looked through its memories. There wasn't anything interesting but she learned that it had an internal self-destruct device that could easily be triggered. She used it and died. It destroyed everything inside of the monster but the hole remained plugged.  
  
She floated around random places, glad that she was back in Xanth and ready for revenge. Through her wanderings and various changes of bodies, she learned that Grundy and Rapunzel had a daughter. It would be perfect to use her body. Surprise Golem would have been an ideal candidate even if she wasn't the daughter of a most hated enemy. The girl was pretty enough. She was still a child who could be molded into Peril's evil image. It also helped that the girl was a Sorceress with a seemingly endless supply of talents.  
  
With unknown luck, she saw Surprise walking with one of her few friends. She didn't get along with most people because she was a crossbreed and she had a loud mouth similar to that of her father. Her friend Brusque, another crossbreed, accidentally bumped into a boy and caused his supply of Lethe to spill.  
  
"I'm sorry" Brusque said before kissing the angered boy on the lips. The boy's eyes widened in shock. This caused him to feel a slight jolt of electricity. He still seemed angry.  
  
"I guess my apology wasn't good enough. Let me try again." Brusque said. The boy immediately ran away. Surprise giggled at the scene  
  
"You didn't have to give him a gourd-style apology, Brass Boy" she commented.  
  
"Sure, I did" he answered, "too bad he didn't accept it."  
  
Surprise suddenly stared at the fanfic writer and asked "Did you really have to write a scene with a boy kissing another boy, you dull mundane?"  
  
"Yes" the fanfic writer answered, "Is that the best insult you could come up with? It's a bit redundant."  
  
"At the moment, you're not worth the effort."  
  
"Hn, you know you won't be able to use your magic to speak to me again."  
  
"My talent will eventually replenish itself. I found that out when reading one of the historic texts. Anyway, you bore me. I would never want to speak to you again." She promptly closed communication with the fanfic writer before said fanfic writer was able to come up with a witty retort. What a brat!  
  
Peril smirked. She was reassured that Surprise would be perfect for her purposes. She went closer to the girl.  
  
"Stay away from me, Crone!" Surprise suddenly said. She was projecting thoughts towards Peril. She was able to sense the presence of the Sea Hag.  
  
"My parents told me about you" the girl continued, "I created an anti-Hag barrier. It would destroy you if you try to get through. I only need to destroy you once."  
  
"Curses foiled again" Peril said. She knew that the girl wasn't bluffing. Surprise Golem did have the power to destroy the Sea Hag. She would have to choose someone else. She continued to wander around.  
  
Through more changes of bodies, she found another person who she would be able to use for a few decades. This was a lovely teenager named Blatant, who had the power to destroy puns. This talent could be extremely useful in the wrong hands, since Xanth was mostly made of puns. The talent was once used to save a village from a rampaging Drag Queen. This was a very confused male queen of dragons. He was caused to leave by the pun being talked to death.  
  
Peril took Blatant over before retaliation was possible. She was dismayed to find out that Blatant was actually an extremely effeminate male.  
  
"Curses, foiled again!"  
  
................  
  
"What was the point of this fic?" Peril asked the fanfic writer angrily. The fanfic writer responded with "There was supposed to be a point?" 


End file.
